2 Years! Yay for me...but all thanks to YOU!

I just got the thrill of asking my two daughters-17 and 11 (son―15 is away this weekend on a campout in the FREEZING Ohio weather…..)―“Hey, what time is it” It was 10:16. And then my little thrill-“1 hour ; 45 minutes till my 2 year no-smoking anniversary”―Hugs and congratz for me from them; Oldest telling me congratz from her best friend. Contrast that to the years of sneaking behind their backs as an addict smoking outside in the freezing weather, escaping from a divorce, instead of living life fully with them. It was midnight on Nov 23, after finishing Thanksgiving dinner, and having blown my second quit in two weeks, I decided I had had enough. I had made it through Thanksgiving dinner and cooking, with no smokes, only to run and smoke after dinner―and to feel sick―physically―and sick emotionally―realizing that I was going to have to live life in a prison again―a slave to the cravings. I had tasted just enough of freedom to know that’s what I wanted―not to have to run and hide and smoke. I wanted my freedom back. I went to bed, determined to try again. Searched the web early in the morning looking for tips, and found this group of people sharing Thanksgiving wishes and memories and recipes, and this one girl Bikini Line (Becky Lynn really), who was a few days into it, and somehow, just decided I’d follow in her footsteps. I sat there reading about Michigan Sandy cleaning her house and hanging her lights, and Wendy working at the bagel shop startin’ pledges at 5 a.m,stop smoking now, and Flyin Free jumpin from airplanes and talking in mumbo jumbo, and Katiem cooking enough for 50 every meal, and sending her caramels to Flyin Free, and ShannyTowns joking around, and J/Q telling it like it was to another member who just wouldn’t put the cigs down, and somehow, I knew this was the place for me. I loved the people, the support,quit smoking, and I knew if I came forward after a day or so of lurking, that I would be too embarrassed to not follow through. Always did care too much what others thought. But this time, it paid off. So, now, every Thanksgiving I have the thrill of knowing I get another year to say I’m thankful for finding the people on this board who saved my life. So…..a few benefits---one of the best--I used to sit outside and smoke by myself. Now I go work-out at our community rec center with my daughter or if it’s nice, go run at a beautiful park/lake nearby. I smell good. My skin is pink and not grey. The wrinkles around my lips stopped forming. I have extra money (so they tell me…..but we all know that story….). I don’t wake up choking at night anymore. I don’t feel my heart pounding at the top of the steps anymore. I don’t hear my heart rushing blood in my ears when I lay down anymore. Shoot―I can actually run now―and it’s my joints that get me―not my lungs! For those who think they’ll never get here―you will. But only if you keep at it one day at a time―never another puff―for just that day. And keep it up. The first month is the worst, and the most fun anny when you make it through; I swear that month is the longest year of your life. The next three months are hard. Months 4-6 a little better. In month six, I finally found my replacement―and for me, that was the exercise kick. It gave me the same endorphins, more sustained than the 20 minute cigarette relief, made me feel good, and let me know I really wanted to choose life, not a slow death. I still think I loved smoking. I’m sure in a heartbeat, I could love it again―and so, every day―not another puff. All my friends who quit smoking with me (not on the board―here at home) around the same time are all back to hiding and smoking―even hiding from me, because they insisted I was going overboard with my “not another puff” idea. But that’s the only way. It’s a behavior that results in the success. Just keep doing the task and the result you want will come.I am forever grateful to this place and the people here. Love love love to those who helped me, and greatest wishes for success to everyone here that I don’t know but know that you can do it. And we all say this, but ….if I can do this―ANYONE can! Yes, you can!! Love, Carole (Beach Girl)