Smoke or Chew -- {a sort of green eggs and ham knock-off}

I am HAM (have another Marlboro)HAM I amThat HAM I am that HAM I amI do not like that HAM I amDo you like to smoke or chew?I do not like to smoke or chewI quit that crapI’m doneI’m throughWould you smoke them on a busSmoke or dip, there is no fuss!I will not smoke them on a busOr dip or pipe you silly cussWould you smoke them in a house?Will you smoke them with a mouse?Not in a houseNot with a mouseNot on a busYou crazy cussI do not like to smoke or chewI told you foolI said I’m through!Will you smoke them in a car?Will you smoke them in a bar?Could you smoke them after meals?Smoke or dip would seal the deal.Not in a carNot at a barNot after mealsThere *is* no deal!I do not like to smoke or chewI’ll say againI said I’m through!A train,Herbal cigarettes, a trainWould you could you on a train?Would you could you in the rain?I will not will not on a trainI would not could not in the rainI am a quitter don’t you see?My quit’s the goal,stop smoking, you bother me!I do not like to smoke or chewI vowed to quit!Now how ‘bout you?